I hear it all the time.
“When I retire, I’ll finally have time to travel.”
“When my kids are out of the house, I’ll start doing what I love.”
“When I make that next pay bump, I can actually breathe.”
We spend so much time living a life that does not exist. We construct this hypothetical future in our minds, constantly waiting for some arbitrary milestone before we give ourselves permission to start living.
Sometimes we think we need a bigger house. We want more money in the bank. We want to travel the globe. Those are great goals and great aspirations. But when we get hyper-focused on those future targets, we forget to live the life right in front of us. We forget to treasure the people we have, the shared laughter, and even the quiet moments.
Once those moments pass, they are gone. There is no going back. All the money in the world cannot be taken to our graves. All the long hours you put into work, along with all the core memories you missed because you were stuck at the office, are just gone.
This whole topic made me stop and reflect deeply because we have had several deaths around us recently.
Friends, mentors, and family members have passed away recently.
It has been heavy.
Life is so short, and it moves fast.
Our lives are tiny blinks in the existence of Earth’s history and this galaxy.
That brings me back to money and its actual role. Money should help us build a life filled with real meaning and purpose. It should afford us the things that truly matter.
A question that keeps coming up for me is simple: When is enough, enough? What does “enough” look like for you?
You might look around and realize your current life is actually wonderful. For me, my flexible schedule is completely priceless. I will never take on a role that restricts my time or my freedom.
Society constantly tells us to demand more. There is nothing wrong with having ambition. I love seeing women stand in their power, aim high, and build serious wealth. But when does wanting more turn into an unnecessary trade-off? What are you giving up in exchange for that extra income? For that bigger house?
I look at wealth through multiple lenses. Social Wealth is huge. If you have millions in the bank but no one to enjoy it with, was it really worth the sacrifice? What if your kids don’t have a meaningful relationship with you because you were always too busy to attend to them?
Health Wealth is another big piece. I was working with a client couple who were debating whether to retire at 62 or 70. The total money on paper looked very different at those two ages. Yet we kept coming back to one core truth. Their health is great right now. They want to go enjoy their lives today while their bodies still have vitality.
Then there is Giving Wealth. This plays a massive role in my personal vision. I love saving up money so I can write substantial checks to organizations doing real work, alongside making smaller donations along the way. Part of my definition of a rich life includes setting up a donor-advised fund and eventually a charitable trust.
I believe deeply in the power of women leaders, especially women of color. We are the investors, the creators, and the leaders we need. Part of that means sharing our resources and uplifting our communities.
So take a moment to evaluate your own trajectory. Pull out your journal this week and ask yourself what your dream life actually requires.
When you picture your absolute perfect Tuesday, what does it include? Does it really require a massive 12-bedroom estate that you have to clean and maintain when you are 65? Or does it mean having a cozy home, a peaceful yard, and absolute control over your schedule? For me, maintaining a massive lawn was not it. I realized I wanted a food forest instead.
Fun Fact: Most adults between 60 and 80 find that an 800-square-foot home is the sweet spot for easy, comfortable maintenance!
One of the biggest traps I see women make as they advance into high-earning leadership roles is lifestyle inflation. They land a higher-paying position, then immediately upgrade to a bigger home and a pricier car. Their basic living expenses skyrocket so much that they wind up stuck on a high-stress treadmill, living paycheck to paycheck on a huge salary.
When you get that next big promotion or pay raise, pause first. Cover your primary financial bases, build a solid six-month safety net, and then ask what actually brings you joy and peace. If you love your current lifestyle, keep your overhead low. Put the extra money away, protect your time, and release all the extra social noise that does not serve your vision.
